Here’s the deal.

How come it’s only people who don’t actually have kids that tell you how to raise them?

I don’t even have an actual child yet but that hasn’t stopped anyone from giving me advice like I’m fucking stupid.

Note to people with no children: Don’t tell me how to raise my unborn one.

I need no advice on what they should wear, what they should be allowed to do, what I should be expected to do…etc.

For fucks sake! I’m only 8 weeks. I’ll ask for help when I need it! I will also probably ask people with knowledge and experience on the matter!


Weekends are FUN!

I love them.

I love the marathon time spent with Scott. It’s fun to spend that 48 hours straight together after a whole week of him being out working hard so I can stay at home.
I’ve been feeling so bad for Scott because I’ve been feeling so sick and probably being such a pain in the ass…

So despite my prego-ness…. We had a fun weekend!

Saturday was fun & relaxing. We hung out with Steph & Fav in the afternoon and then took this long nap before heading to the very finest dive in town: BUCKY’S! A friend of ours, Heather, was hosting a benefit for the Breast Cancer Walk so we went down to have a drink for a good cause…even though my drink was a Shirley Temple…and FREE! But we did donate a little and then ended up having to leave pretty soon after getting there because my medication was wearing off and I was starting to feel super shitty again.

Anyways…not to bore you with every detail…. but after I watched some Iron Chef America and then passed the eff out! Iron Chef is my new dinner, since it is hard to eat at night the last two nights…instead of dinner… I’ve watched Iron Chef. It makes me feel like I’m eating without actually eating and throwing up! It’s kinda awesome.

Then today!!!
It was Father’s Day!
We went over to my Dad’s for a very yummy breakfast made by my stepmother, who is QUITE the chef! It’s always fun to spend time with the family….and I know Scott was secretly enjoying today a little more knowing that he is technically “a Dad” even though his kid is the size of a jelly bean and probably making his life hell at the moment!

After breaki we were off to my VERY FIRST Giant’s game at AT&T park. It was so fun even though the Giant’s apparently suck! (Or at least they did today!) It was fun to experience a sporting event for the first time. The Boo-Yeah’s came through for sure! Here’s some pics of us at the game:


A Beautiful Day @ AT&T Park!

Mr. Crabby Face & Me! :)

The Husband & I.


The Boo-Yeahs. One of my Favorite Couples EVER!

Anyways: I enjoyed my weekend!
Thanks to my Dad, Stepfather, Husband, Brother, Grandfathers, Uncles, Father-in-Law, Friends & all the other men in my life! You guys are wonderful fathers and amazing people! I owe a ton to you all! Thanks for being you! I hope everyone got the chance to tell the men in their lives how much they are appreciated today and everyday! The only sad part about today was I didn’t get to see my Stepfather or my Father-in-Law. So Georgie & Roger: I love you! I hope your day was great. I am thinking about both of you and love you very much!

Finally off the hook for a few years….

Today was my Mom’s birthday…and my kid bro’s high school graduation.

So Scott & I hauled it over to Danville to go to the graduation and then go out to dinner with my mom for her birthday!
It was super duper effin’ hot and of course, since SRVHS has a graduating class of almost 600 kids… (Yes, it’s unbelievable, I met kids at my graduation I had never ever seen in all four years of high school!)… It’s outside on the football field. By the time we got they were all out of seats so we basically sat on the football field and let the sun beat down on us for close to 3 hours! I’m just glad I’m off the hook and won’t have to go to a graduation for the next four years!

BUT! It was totally worth it. My bro is one of the two most important men in my life and I was so excited to see him finally out of school. It’s amazing. My mom had all these photo albums out on the coffee table when we got there… and it was really funny because the first album was from the year Scott and I started dating…1997.
My brother was literally 7 years old when I met Scott, which means it’s pretty much like Scott’s been around since the beginning. We were so amazed how much he’s grown up! 11 years ago…he was this little nugget and now he’s all old and leaving for college!

It totally depresses me that he will be in Chicago when the baby is born!!! I’m trying not to think about it because I am going to miss him so much and I won’t be able to visit him in his first year at school. Boo! :(

Then Scott, my Mom & I went to this cool new Mexican place in Danville where they make homemade guacamole right at your table. It was decent…but of course towards the end of dinner my Zofran was wearing off so I wasn’t enjoying the dinner like I should have been.

So we just drove home listening to a bunch of Led Zepplin. All my favorite LOVVVEEEEEE songs!!!!! ♥


Congrats to my wonderful brother, Andrew! You finally made it out!!! I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next! I love you so much it’s ridiculous. You’re the best!


Happy Birthday, Mommy!!!! I love you so much! Thank you for being you! You are the best Mom & Friend a girl could ask for!!! I hope your birthday was super special!

My Baby Brother & Me!

My Brother & some of his friends that came to the graduation.

The Two Best Boys EVER!

My All Time Favorite Guys & MEEEEEE.

My Mom & Brother.

My Stepfather & Andrew. (George! You are looking so great! Keep up the hard work! It’s so worth it!)

My Brother, Dad & Stepmom Julia.

And Finally:
♥ The Husband & I….. ♥

I just love this guy!!!! ♥

The Plan

When I was 14 years old I met my husband, Scott.
And we were like, hopelessly in love. We’d talk on the phone for hours every night till like 3 AM.
We’d talk about our future and all these crazy childhood dreams about what we wanted in life.
And who knows if we actually meant it then, because we were so young and ridiculous. But over the years, it became real.
Slowly, we began to check things off the list: We started a business, got married, bought a house and now…

Today, as we went to our first prenatal appointment, I was pretty stoked on life.

Maybe, because I’m pregnant and emotional, but maybe because I am just amazed at how our life has panned out.

Eleven years after I met my best friend, we have everything we ever wanted.

We even got a ultrasound print out of the little one…but really it’s not much to look at yet since I’m like 7 weeks. BUT! We could see the heartbeat which is pretty crazy. We won’t be able to hear it till our next appt though.

At the moment we are not planning to find out the sex of the baby, but Baby Brandt is due to make it’s little debut in late January and we really couldn’t be happier. We have several name ideas for both a boy and girl and hope they don’t get stolen before we can settle on one. Especially since mood swings are pretty crazy and I’m liable to kill anyone who tries. (Yeah, that’s totally NOT a joke!)

Sorry about the complaining over the last few weeks… I’ve been feeling sick and all around crappy. But because my morning sickness is so out of control the doctor has prescribed something for it. I just took it and am crossing my fingers that the next really crappy part about this pregnancy is the labor!

Em aka “mom”

More NYC Craziness.

So we are having a ton of fun!

(This is me having fun!)

Yesterday we went to the Guggenheim & The Met (and took pics on the stairs for all you GG lovers!). At the Met we got to see the Costume Institute Exhibit which is only there for a short time every year following the Costume Institute Ball that all the stars attend. (Perez had literally PAGES on that thing!) After that we headed to Greenwich Village to hit up Magnolia Bakery! It is this amazing bakery that I’ve heard mentioned on Ugly Betty and through the cookbooks they sell… but apparently it was made famous through Sex & The City? I’m unsure because I have never seen Sex & The City.

Lisa on The Met steps for lunch.

I just wanted to tell random people to “please move down a step.” Blair’s my HERO!

View from The Met’s roof. Amazing.

A downs in a sparkly mirror on display @ The Met.

Harley, guarding the sugar bowl….at The Met.

Lisa, Me & a cool iron gate at The Met.

I took this while waiting in the hour long line for cupcakes @ Magnolia.

Then we went home & changed and headed to see Mamma Mia on Broadway. We we literally in the second row. The tickets were amazing. Props to Lisa! Then we headed to Times Square…because unless you see that shit at night…you’re missing out. It is amazing! The first time I went to Time’s Square I was OVERWHELMED at the awesomeness of all the lights, etc. I was happy to be there for Lisa’s first time! After that we went to Serendipity. It is a restaurant that specializes in desserts and literally has a movie named after it (serendipity!) and is always featured on Food Network, etc.

On our way to MAMMA MIA!!

Lisa in Time’s Square.

Today we woke up late…. so we got a pretty late start. But that didn’t stop us from hitting every spot on the list!
We walked over to the MOMA and waited in a huge ass line but it was totally worth it because that place literally is the highlight of my life. (except my husband, of course!)

Here are some pics of us in the Olafur Eliasson exhibit. The colors were overwhelming. It was crazy.





Then we cabbed it down to meet Howli @ her work and had lunch at this place that literally only serves various potstickers. Good shit. Then we hit: Madison Square Park, The Flat Iron & then I took Lisa to the Museum of SEX at 5th & 27th. I love that place…and I knew she’d appreciate it as much as I do. I also picked up some gifts there for my wonderful sister in laws.

Lisa in Madison Square Park.

You’ve been warned.

A random (well, not so random) picture of balls @ The Museum of Sex.

Lisa & the wall of Vibrators.

This thing is straight up INTENSE! I read the little placard and NO JOKE it is for a stripper to “JUICE” herself and the little dent is so the “juices” can flow into a customers mouth. Straight up KINK! I cannot believe what people come up with!!!

Does this picture remind you of The Horse vid or what!? YES!!!

The Fleshlight…. this pic is ALLLLL Mario.

These are shoes made for sex workers so their pimps know where those bitches be at! (and so the police can find them when they get raped and jacked for all their money.)

This thing is out of control. It is part of the permanent collection, you I had seen it before…but damn. DAMN!

Wow! This is some HOMEMADE action. I have video footage of this bad boy in the “on” position, but I have no idea how to load vids….

After that we walked up to the Empire State Building at took the elevator ride all the way up 86 floors! The view is amazing even when the weather is shitty. Some random british couple asked me to take their picture at the top and I straight DROPPED THEIR CAMERA! It was fucked. I felt so effin’ bad! :(

The Chrysler Building as seen from 86 floors above Manhattan.

Lisa & I in the inside observatory of The Empire State Building.
Then we hit up Grand Central Station and headed back to the apartment for dinner. Howli lives directly across the street from this bar called PJ Clarke’s. It’s a famous NYC bar and her boyfriend, Andrew is a bartender there. So, we’ve gone there twice already since we’ve been here and a couple times last time I was in town. Its delicious and knowing the guy behind the counter doesn’t hurt either.
After PJ Clarke’s, we went back to Howli’s to watch Gossip Girl (WHILE IN NYC! YAY!) and they straight up made reference to PJ Clarke’s. Amazing right? I mean we literally left there like 15 minutes before. How very GG of us!
More craziness with my 47′s and things in twos.

(Yes, that’s a two & a 47 together in the Taxi.)

At the MOMA today there was a painting that had my birthday on it with the year 1967.


So thinking…holy shit this must be a sign since I’ve been getting shit in twos allll week. So I went to a market and bought a quick pick for the mega millions ($166 Million) and a $2.00 Scratcher. I scratched the scratcher and won on the same scratcher TWICE! WTF, right? Well then I looked at the Quick Pick and my numbers are 03, 18, 27, 40, 53 and 21. My birthday is 3/18…and I had just seen the painting at the MOMA…plus 27 & 40 add to 67…which is the YEAR on the painting… My parents were both born in 53…and shit…I have no explanation for the 21…but I liked being 21 so thats good too.

I may be a millionaire by the time we make it back!
And according to my phone Thursday in San Mateo is going to be 89 degrees. I’m so stoked…. recoup from NYC by the pool tanning. I LOVE my life!

We made ittttttttttt!

So we’ve been in NYC for about 10 hours now.
The flight went good. I was less nervous than I thought I’d be. The 1/4 Valium did the trick for a while… but then I upped the ante at the first sign of (very minor) turbulence and took another 1/4 and washed it down with *GASP* a BEER!!! How uncharacteristic! But desperate times call for desperate measures.
The plane was half empty so we were able to relocate to the very front row of the plane. It had hella foot room and we were pretty stress free the entire trip. I’ll admit I got a little scared at a few parts but I obviously made it here….so I’m good. Here’s a pic of us on the plane:
OH! and I should have warned you earlier…for a 5 hour flight…no make-up was involved so I’ll apologize in advance for our haggard appearance. We will try to look more acceptable in future pictures.
After getting off the plane and all that jazz, Lisa got to partake in her very first NYC taxi ride. I’m telling you right now… from here on out I’d be surprised if we experienced a more enjoyable ride. He was a one in a million. I didn’t freak out once. Maybe it was the valium?
Then we hauled it a block to a 24-hour bagel place for a late snack. These things were FUCKING AMAZING! If you’re ever in New York…. this place on 2nd & 56th is the best bagel I’ve ever had. I’m not sure of the name… it literally might have been “Hot fresh bagels”. Plus; the 80 year old middle eastern man behind the counter was very complimentary, if you’re into being hit on at your worst at 130 AM, that is. We got to bed at about 330 AM and now it is 845 AM. I can tell you one of the many things I LOVE about this city is the noise at night. It seriously puts me to sleep way better than the silence at home. Once I turned off the TV…I was out like a light. I’m thinking about getting up and getting ready to start our day…which will be long, wet and probably pretty horrible. New York is on FLOOD WATCH! 2” of rain expected today…good thing we will be on foot walking allllll day! (NOT GOOD TIMES!) I will post more as it happens.

Love from The Big Apple

Emmie B. (&Lisa too!)

We came, We saw…. WE MAKED!

It was that time again!

The Maker Faire hit the San Mateo County Fair Grounds this weekend. It was still super fun, although they like, I dunno, QUADRUPLED the price. Luckily we got in at the student rate. We “forgot” our student IDs.

Here’s some of the fun!!

We did light writing. It was super fun…and in the true DIY spirit we spent most of this evening recreating this wonderful trick. I of course made a shout out to my super awesome Husband with the “True Blue”
These art installments were pretty amazing. Tall as fuck! We were confused how they got them to the fair grounds. The man was made of like cables at least 3/4” thick. They must have weighed tons.
This guy worked for Disney. His actual job title was Disney Imagineer. He designs rides for Disneyland. He designed Indiana Jones and is currently working on Monster, Inc. RADICAL!
The Girls & I with Wall-e in the Disney Section:
There were CUPCAKE CARS!!! These things were actually electrically powered vehicles. So crazy!!! I wanna build one!

In the Bizarre Bazaar I found a million super cute things. The kid stuff there is out of control. But I was super good. I bought some paper meant for scrapbooking that I am going to use as matting for picture frames and my brother’s graduation gift. I’m so stoked on his gift. Although it won’t seem that amazing when he opens it they have a cool story behind them and they are just very cool and useful. I can’t wait to give them to him!
Today was super fun! YAY! ♥

Friday Night…Teens on the loose.

Yeah…so today was super fun.

Nick Swardson was super funny. His bit about the pot brownies made me cry I laughed so hard!!

In N’ Out hit the spot afterwards… super good. EXCEPT! The teenagers at In N’ Out were no fucking bueno. When I have kids those little assholes are going to boarding school between the ages of 11 and 18. I swear every time I am around teenagers my blood BOILS! They are all so silly and annoying! Right? I mean… WOW.

I hate these little shits:

Oh and I schooled at Wii bowling. HOLLER.

The Mr. & I…while I was mid-sneeze on BART

Scott & I


Stephie & Fav

The Girlsssss


The man himself… NICK SWARDSON!

So excited. it’s been days since we last saw him.

Nick Swardson


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