So, having recently joined the twittersphere, I have been following some of the bigger mom blogs and having a lot of fun. However, after reading several tweets from @Babyrabies and knowing her to A. have a kid of at least 2 or 3 and B. to be having an inner debate over rear facing versus forward facing car seats- I am totally & completely confused.
This, my friends- it scares me. Only because I was SOOOOOOO looking forward to installing my new (OK, HUDSON’S new) car seat on his birthday. It would face front. I would smile in the rear-view mirror and think- ‘wow. What a big boy you have become!’ We could interact and share a laugh or silly face at a traffic light and I dunno. That was my dream.
The car seat we purchased is actually (I think) new on the market, and it was purchased because next year around this time my poor car will have to line up THREE car seats in the backseat to accommodate my now 3 kids, the oldest being two and still very much needing a car seat. So, we had to find the slimmest car seat we could. It’s really cute too, which helps me in most my decisions because I have a problem and am apparently way too vain. I like my stuff to look good. Something has too- and it’s certainly not gonna be ME any time soon. So, I keep my kid stuffs pretty, well, pretty.
Anyways, now, my zeal for the forward facing car seat is being questioned. And don’t worry, it’s not JUST BabyRabies’ blog making me rethink this. My neighbor has a 2+ year old (like, maybe 29 months?) and she still has him facing the rear of the vehicle. She told me she has seen videos that made her want him rear facing as long as possible.
So, I googled it. I gotta tell you all- I am NOT going to watch any video where kids are being hurt because it scares me too much. But, it does appear that the consensus is that your child should be rear-facing as long as possible. I’m sad.
Why then does this new car seat say it’s front-facing orientation is suitable for toddlers over 1 year of age and at least 20 pounds? Why do they give me that 13 pound overlap in the instruction booklet that basically says “make up your own mind”? I NEED RULES. I NEED STRUCTURE. I don’t want to be the decision maker, especially if it could lead to me making the WRONG decision.
My other issue is that- HELLO! When we were kids- we basically got carried home in car seats resembling 5 gallon buckets, front facing, if AT ALL and we all made it long enough to blog about our own kids 25-ish years later.
I was even in a significant car crash while in a car seat with my mom in the 80′s and I wasn’t totally injured because I was front facing.
Fads in parenting seem to come & go- and I am totally confused as to what is right for me and my family. Once upon a time Doctor’s told women that formula was healthier for baby. Now? Gosh, if you don’t breastfeed people totally freak out. My point is: how do we know that in 10 years a NEW study won’t come out saying that rear facing car seats causes some other issue, or wasn’t as safe as they originally thought?
And in the meantime, should I give up my dream of my 1 year old (at maybe 20.5 pounds -fully clothed) facing forward, even when the instructions SAY that it is OK? Am I really doing my child the disservice that everyone claims? HELLLLPPP.
January 9th, 2010 - 1:24 PM
Here’s a link to a youtube video that I got from a friend with a private blog (Hi Rachel, if you’re reading and thanks!) and while there is video of crash test dummies in simulated crashes which is frankly a bit hard to watch, there is no video of any real child actually being in a crash, I promise I just watched it, crappy Avril Lavigne song and all – ok fine I did turn off the volume – to make sure before I posted it here!) There ARE photos of a little boy with head and neck injuries in the hospital with headgear (nothing gory though) following a crash. There are some pretty compelling stats from some pretty serious sources (some of which you may want to check out for recs on good narrower seats?), some of which made me gasp in shock and discomfort. There are also some pretty weak quotes from sources like MSNBC and About.com, stuff like that.
My daughter turned one last month and is well past the height and weight requirements to front face. She will rear face for as long as I can physically make her do so.
It’s not an easy call in your situation especially, or in a lot of situations (like kids who fight back, a la BabyRabies’ Kendall, which my girl thankfully does not do… yet!) and I wish you lots of luck!
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January 9th, 2010 - 1:55 PM
What would be AWESOME would be if I posted the dang link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvyIv9QVRBE&feature=player_embedded
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January 9th, 2010 - 2:15 PM
Oh lawd, I’m having this VERY issue myself!
As you know my car is a two door and milo is rapidly approaching the need of a big boy car seat already and we are a bit aways from turning one. Do you know what a pain in the ass it’s going to be for me with his ‘new’ carseat rear facing in the middle of the back seat. It may take me 20 minutes to get him in and out of the damn car! And I start thinking about doing so while its raining. Me just standing there in the rain trying to get my damn kid outta the car! I already have issues getting him in and out of the back seat so we’ve been using Mercers car pretty much all of the time just cause its a four door.This has become so much of an issue for me that I’ve been looking into trading Rhonda in for a POS four door car just so I can get my kid in and out of the car and try to keep him rear facing, I guess. They say it’s better supposedly. BUT, I don’t fully understand why it’s better. I mean, if you get in a gnarly enough accident I don’t think it matters if you strap him to the ceiling upside down, theyre still going to get hurt. It makes me cringe to think of it all though….Sorry, I’m of absolutely NO help but have the same ponderous question as you and I will be checking back on this post to see what other Mommies have to say.
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January 9th, 2010 - 6:32 PM
I was going to keep the girls rear facing as long as possible, especially because Mary wasn’t at the 20 pound mark at her one year check-up. Then, we went on 3 hour drive to visit Kevin’s family in December and I realized how challenging it would be to keep the girls happy and give them snacks and milk in the car. We weighed Mary the morning we left, she was a little over 20 pounds, and we turned the car seats around so we could have access to the babies in the car. They were so much happier, we just decided to leave them. They meet the age and weight requirements and I am confident that they are safe.
Of course, I have an irrational fear of my own about the rear facing car seats. We drive Mary and Lila across SR 520 every day (a floating bridge that crosses Lake Washington, it’s about 4 miles long), and more than once, I have had a vision of the bridge collapsing during our commute. If that happened, I would need to quickly get the girls out of their car seats, break a window, and swim out of the sinking car with a baby in each arm. This would be much easier accomplished with forward facing car seats, because I can get to them quicker.
Yes, I admit that I sound paranoid. I guess I kind of am!
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January 9th, 2010 - 8:25 PM
we are keeping H rear facing for as long as possible. our pedi recommended that although yes, there is a minimum height/age/weight requirement, that for her safety we should keep her rear facing until the CARSEAT’S maximum height or weight limit suggests. as much as i would love to turn her around for all the reasons you probably do, i’m following the pedi because we pay her for her opinions and Harper is so little. in fact, we can’t even turn her around if we wanted to cause she hasn’t hit 20lbs yet!
i hope you get it figured out lady. i know there are so many opinions and facts and it’s hard sometimes to tell the difference on who is right/wrong, or like you said could change later. being a mama is a worrying job for sure. hugs!
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January 9th, 2010 - 8:47 PM
Makayla grew out of her car seat FAST, she is VERY tall for her age. I’ve had her in a front facing seat since she was about 14-15 months. I tried to continue rear facing but the problem was that her feet continued to hit the back of the seat, and she would keep pushing herself and rocking her car seat. I felt it was more unsafe to keep her that way. She’s going to be 4 in March and has been using a booster for the past several months.
I haven’t had any issues at all. It is a personal choice and decision, but you know what is right for you and your baby. Best of luck!!!
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January 9th, 2010 - 8:49 PM
What Kristin said, about the bridge thing, I’ve definitly thought about that (the San Mateo bridge, 8 miles long! Or the bay bridge, which I refuse to drive on anymore) and I don’t even have a kid of my own. And just because I don’t have a kid, doesn’t mean I don’t think about those kinds of things. I hope you’re not judging me right now Em. Haha.
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January 9th, 2010 - 9:00 PM
AGGHHH.
Thanks for all the input- but as usual I am just as confused as ever. And plus, Hudson’s last appt when he weighed 20.5 fully clothed was when he was having poop issues (as in NOT GOING) so he may have been on the heavy side that day! lol. I will wait and talk to our pediatrician on the 20th, which is his next appt and get his opinion/ choose to ignore it maybe.
Kirsten- Shiz! I never even thought of that! :/
Mandy- Holy Monkey! How much does H weigh? Hudson is a nugget and I am pretty sure he’s nearing 20#s
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January 10th, 2010 - 9:44 AM
well i should say, as of her swine flu appointment she wasn’t. she most likely is over it now, but at that time, she was 19.3. she was also only 27.75 inches tall. i don’t know if i mentioned, but we have her in her big girl carseat rear facing. she’s not still chillin in her newb carseat.
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January 10th, 2010 - 10:33 AM
i am researching all of this as well. i have ella in her convertible seat which she loves…but my child is a giant…and i already have a hard enough time hoisting her into her seat…usually involves her hitting her head on the ceiling of the car. so if she continues to grow like she is i do not know. eventually she will prob hate me for whacking her head every time we have to get in and then i will have a problem…i guess i am anticipating.
so i am with you as what to do. the way i look at it is if she lets me i probably will keep her rear. i am not in the situation like you though…can you have all 3 rear facing…is the new seat convertible?
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January 11th, 2010 - 11:08 AM
gosh lady, i can see why that’s a tough call for you! yesterday i was explaining to david how your car is going to be set up (with 1 big baby and 2 newbies = 3 car seats) and his eyes got HUGE! ;D i can definitely see how it will be a tough configuration to tackle. the only advice i have is what my own research has lead me to: i actually chatted online with a certified carseat technician, who told me that keeping the seat rear-facing for as long as possible is what’s best. she said that the baby’s size and car seat style aren’t so much a factor, but that the rear-facing offers better protection for children’s neck & back. she actually said that with her own two kids, she kept them facing back even when their legs got too long – they would sit indian-style back there! kind of funny to picture, but hey when it comes to keeping kids safe vanity really isn’t a question!
so, my plan is to keep p facing backwards for as long as she will reasonably fit, even when we switch to a bigger seat. i agree with kerri – it’s not exactly convenient – i drive a little toyota and it is a tight squeeze sometimes even with a baby at less than 18 pounds! so i don’t know what i would do about have three babies back there… that really is a tough call…
i guess i would say that in the end, you’ll always do what’s best for you and your children. i totally understand kirsten’s pov – it ended up being best for her while driving to be able to reach the girls. sometimes you need to be flexible with yourself and tailor your methods towards real-life, and that’s not always 100% by the book. i say pick what you feel is best, and give yourself permission to change it over time based on what fits your daily routine. you’re a great mom. your instincts won’t mislead you!
good luck dear! cheers!
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