“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.”

(Even though, too quickly it seems, you are growing up before our eyes.)

To my Son:
The day I met your father, I was 13 years old. And, for whatever reason- I knew without ever speaking to him that day that I was in love like I never thought possible. He proved me right a year later when I actually spoke with him for the first time. …And from that day forward we have been together. I knew that someday we would do great things. I dunno HOW exactly I knew it- but I did.

Much happened in the time between that moment and your birth, in fact over a decade passed, but I can promise you this- every single day of those years we were working towards making a place in the world for you, our amazing first born.

Your father is just BEYOND and has laid the foundation for a great life for all of us through amazingly hard work. He has overcome a lot to stand here and be the fantastic father he is & I hope that someday you will understand what I mean by that. Your father, my dear son is the most amazing-loving-giving man I have ever known. EVER.  And when he felt we were ready for you, I could do nothing but give him what he wanted, because I knew he knew it was right.

I planned a trip to New York with Lisa as a last hurrah of sorts, knowing that when I returned- we were TRYING to have a baby. The night before I left for NYC, we decided to give it a try. And as funny as it seems- when that plane landed and I reached for my cigarettes (yes, kids SMOKER IN THE HOUSE!) I had the same intuition about you as I did for your father. I was afraid to put it in my mouth because I knew that I was pregnant. I knew that it had happened. And guess what?! IT HAD. Because within a week of returning home, I was jumping on the bed screaming at 8AM on a Sunday waking your Daddy up with the news. We were going to have a BABY. And we were READY.

Even when pregnancy had me so down in the dumps that I thought I couldn’t do it- the notion of what I was doing it FOR got me through it. The first time I felt flutters in my stomach and how those flutters became kicks and jabs and how I learned your routine before you were born. How I cried doing baby laundry just thinking about how soon enough there would be YOU in those clothes. And kid, your mom HATES laundry. But I would do it over and over and fold and unfold and fold again so everything was perfect for you. Little moments that made me realize there was a person inside of me. It was absolutely crazy to experience.

And, the day you were born, even though I was a bit smug to it all- I know that I was in love with you the way I was in love with your father. I just knew it was right, instantly. I didn’t cry when I saw you, which seems probably unfeeling. But, when I got to hold you- there was such an overwhelming sense of protectiveness. I was up for DAYS without even THINKING of sleep- I just wanted to to look at what we had accomplished in making you. I couldn’t get enough. And, the funny thing about motherhood, and the thing I least expected is how that love has literally doubled every single day you’ve been alive. Who knew that I’d love you 365 times more today than the day you came into my life?

And now?

This little guy that I met on January 20th, 2009:

has turned into THIS BIG little guy:

WHO CAN WALK. Who can almost (but not quite) TELL ME what he needs and wants. Who has a personality. Who can drive me absolutely NUTS & then blow me a kiss and make my heart literally MELT.

Happy Birthday, my Monster. I love you so much that I am literally doing my best on the daily to not EXPLODE. Your life has made my life that much more meaningful. Your father & I are in AWE of what you are and what you can do and what you will one day become. Before your father, I didn’t think I could love another human being so much- then I met him and I knew I could. And before I met you, I didn’t know I would ever be able to love anyone else as much as him- but I DO. And for those of you yet to experience it: Motherhood is the greatest, deepest love I have ever felt.

Hudson, you were born on a significant day in history & we know that you will always blaze your own trail & one day make history yourself. The entire world is yours and we will do everything in our power every single day of our lives to support you and love you in all that you do. I know you will grow to be an amazing man. An amazing father. An amazing PERSON.

♥ Your Mommy.

“These are the days we must savor and we must enjoy as we can. These are the days that last forever. You’ve got to hold them in your heart.”