You Guys: I am already panicking about my sons. I am panicking because ONE DAY THEY WILL LEAVE! There is some saying about how you have a son till he gets married and how you have a daughter for life. I think it’s true. Besides the fact that my brother lives across the country- when he is here he sees my Mom much less than she would like. And he’s not even married yet! And Sawyer? She will get married but she will never leave. Like, she could move across the country- but chicks are chatty and basically- I’d talk to her. I’d visit. Hopefully she will live in the same city or county or general vicinity. From the second I had her, I HAD HER. She’s not going anywhere. Save for those 5 years as a teen when she will HATE. MY. GUTS. Another woman will never replace me. Sure, a husband & children. But not me.
But my boys? MY. BOYS. ?? They are gonna go get married someday. And it already kills me that one day I will no longer be the most important person in their life. Is that totally weird & out of line? Because it’s true.
Because once you get married (we all know it- don’t try to pretend) WE want to be the most important woman in our husband’s life. We want to trump everything. And we usually do. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law has passed, but I wonder how she felt when she was alive? I know she liked me- but a little part of me knows that I was stealing her son & now having two of my own?? I suppose I get to go through it twice. And be totally devastated twice. And I know that I won’t be half as polite about it. I will probably be every woman’s nightmare mother-in-law. BECAUSE HELLO!?!?! This bitch is stealing my baby!!! (Yes, they are ALL bitches in this situation.)
I’d file this under irrational thinking, but the only thing irrational about these thoughts is that I am having them SO SOON. I mean, Hudson is only 17 months. But that seventeen months literally took like, 17 minutes- so I can see this situation creeping up on me sooner than later.
Why is it I can look to Sawyer’s future and be excited for her milestones like getting married & when I think of Hudson or Truman getting married I feel like I’m choking?
Moms of boys? Am I alone here?
June 30th, 2010 - 7:31 PM
I thought I was the only one who thought like that. My fiance looks at me like I'm crazy when I say things like that. But then I throw the whole " Well look at you and your mom" in his face and he agrees. That one day I will lose Jasper to some other woman. Now he says things like " mamma you my girl" and I know one day I wont be his girl anymore. A friend that had a son before I did used to say she hoped her son would be gay so she'd always be the number one woman in his life. I laughed at her and called her crazy..but maybe, just maybe she has a point..
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 12:51 PM
I almost WROTE that but figured I'd sound just a tad too crazy.
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 7:40 PM
Never thought about it that way…until NOW!
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 7:51 PM
ha! I'm sorry! But, at least now I have one more member of my crazy club!
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 7:51 PM
Oh god, I have been thinking about this so much lately. Especially now that Henry is at that stage where he's no longer a cuddly little baby…he's always wanting to bounce around or peel himself off of my chest to see what's going on. I want my snuggly momma's boy back! If we have another baby I really hope it's a girl because lately I've been feeling like I'm really going to need a child to depend on when Henry "moves on". God, that sounds just awful and selfish and gross, but it's totally true. You are definitely not alone in your thoughts on this one, dude.
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 7:59 PM
lol!! I'm glad. Because I think about it like, daily. ESPECIALLY when people tell me how gorgeous the boys are and how they are gonna "break hearts." What about MY HEART?? lol.
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 7:57 PM
Reason #3537984 I'm glad I started with a girl! I cry when I think of that pudgy little finger having a ring slid on it, but I, like you, know she will always be there.
I have to say though, the men I know whose mommy's DO continue to be #1? Are usually WEIRDOS!
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:01 PM
Oh I know that. I want them to be well adjusted men. To be good husbands and fathers. Which is why I KNOW I have to give up the #1 spot. But just wait till you get a boy- you'll know what I'm saying!
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 8:00 PM
I don't have any children so maybe it's not fair to butt in. But here's my $.02 anyway. My sister is MUCH closer to my mom than I am. I physically live closer but it's nothing to go a few weeks without seeing or speaking to my mother (whereas I believe my sister's umbilical cord was never actually cut! I'm talking calls 3x a day and seeing other on an almost daily basis). Then there's my BF. He was raised by an AMAZING single momma and we try to see her once every 6-8 weeks and they call, text & e-mail frequently. I know my life is far from the norm but maybe that makes you feel a bit better?
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:02 PM
Well, it does- except I secretly hope I get 3x daily calls. lol
[Reply]
Darlene Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:05 PM
i have three brothers and one of them (hes 26 and engaged) calls my mom every day- where as I call my mom maybe 2-3 times a week. So maybe there is hope??
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:05 PM
We will cling to that. lol.
June 30th, 2010 - 1:07 PM
I feel THE same! No girl will ever be good enough for my little prince lmao. The thought of him getting married & replacing me makes me CRY lmao
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:19 PM
We're all crying together!
[Reply]
jess; [the bottle chronicles] Reply:
July 1st, 2010 at 4:40 PM
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 8:13 PM
ok now i want to cry thinking about that. But then again at least i dont have a girl and have to worry about some creep stealing her away. i guess the grass is always greener.
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:19 PM
But the creeps never actually STEAL the girls.
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 8:18 PM
Trust me, when Hudson is seven it will be like someone tightened the knot. I think about this ALL the time. I try to think of everyway possible to ensure he stays close to me. If I think about it too long I cry, but mostly because I think it's true. I think you lose your son to his wife – and a lot of times – HER family. Okay, now I'm all sad…gotta go.
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 8:21 PM
OH GOD! Yes. The men usually get sucked up by their wives family. That's even more sad. That on Christmas when they see family- it probably won't be ours!
sadface sadface sadface!
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 1:39 PM
I found myself nodding in agreement with your post. We are not close with my husband’s family, and we’re ridiculously close with mine. BUT…that is their fault and I have learned a lesson from them, and from my mother’s relationships with my brother’s girlfriends. I have learned to get along with my son’s girlfriend/wife (when that day comes) no matter what and to keep my mouth shut. I think that boys would stay closer to their mothers if the mother would attempt to have a good relationship with the wife/girlfriend.
But I do agree with Babe_Chilla that a lot of boys that do stay super close to their mothers are usually a little on the odd side.
It will be OK.
[Reply]
Emmie Bee Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 9:10 PM
Yeah that's true. I suppose you do "catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" or whatever that saying is.
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 1:47 PM
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Emmie Bee, Emmie Bee. Emmie Bee said: Blog:: Boys. http://www.emmiebee.com/2010/06/30/boys/ [...]
June 30th, 2010 - 2:47 PM
Well just look at like when they get married and depend on their wife you have succeded. My hubs is a mommas boy for life and it’s SO annoying that he calls her for everything. Everyday and never asks me questions like I won’t know things. She babied him till he was twenty and I took over.
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 10:10 PM
You are not alone! I have two boys and I'm dreading the moment when they get married and leave me. They are still babies, but I know the time will come. My 3 year old tells me all the time "I love you Mama" and "Mama, you're so beautiful" and other little things like that, that just melt my heart. But I know that won't last forever.
I'm really close with my mom, but not my brother. He WAS, until he got married. My mom is sad about it all the time, she says that she's been replaced by his mother in law. And it makes me sad that one day my boys will leave me.
[Reply]
June 30th, 2010 - 11:32 PM
oh i've worried about this too! sometimes when milo and i are snuggling together i think "one day he won't want to just hug me for 5 minutes at a time, he might not even want to hug me at all!!!" and let me tell you that thought strikes fear in my heart!
but here's an extra crazy/creepy thing i've been worrying about lately- i'm devastated at the thought that i won't be able to sneak peeks at that cute little bum of his or kiss that little sweet spot between his ear and his neck. oh just the thought of it breaks my heart!
[Reply]
July 1st, 2010 - 12:20 AM
BAH! Why did I read this!? It's true. Joshua is only 15 months old and I'm all "YOU ARE NEVER GETTING MARRIED YOU ARE NEVER LEAVING ME DO YOU UNDERSTAND~!?!?!" Because I don't want to lose my son. And I don't want to become my mother-in-law (and WOW is SHE a doozie).
I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in a glass of sauvignon blanc. Or a bottle.
[Reply]
July 1st, 2010 - 1:18 AM
YOure not irrational, that or I'm completely irrational as well. I've been really sad about Milo getting bigger this past week. Like I'm just down right pissed off about it. I know for a FACT I've taken the place of Mercer's Mom. And I also know, she kinda hates me for it. Especially cause he is her BABY! Waahhhh. Now, I'm sad about this too.
[Reply]
July 1st, 2010 - 6:11 PM
I have 2 boys as well, and I freak about this constantly. I'm always referring (in my head of course) to his future gf/wife/lover as "bitch".
And yes, this post is so true. I think about my brother, he never sees my mum, he is so incredibly happy in a new relationship, but hardly EVER sees mum. He sees my dad, they play golf weekly. And My partner? Whenever his Mother calls, we roll our eyes bc she calls. Every. Damn. Night. And we see her pretty much 4 times a WEEK. Perhaps this is how she feels? ARGH. Boys will always break there mothers hearts.
[Reply]
July 5th, 2010 - 11:22 AM
Mommy and daddy and me live 20 minutes from both Grammy & Coach (Mommy's parents) and Grandma & Grandpa (Daddy's), but we see Grammy & Coach WAY more – like twice a week vs. once or twice a month. Mommy worries about this happening when I grow up ALL the time.
[Reply]