Hudson is at Nonnie & Papa’s house again. He left last night with them because I was having a really bad day. And no, he was not the cause. I just had a deadline for work that HAD to be met. And I had stressed myself out to my breaking point by 4PM Wednesday. Luckily, my parents got here just in time to save me from literally crawling into the corner and sobbing for a few hours.

I have been overwhelmed the last month or so. Not with the kids, but with the lack of time I am afforded to get anything else- like work or house stuff done. We’ve also been a bit slower this month at work, which is par for the August course but with three babies I feel it much more than I did in the past. I find myself questioning how I have lived my life to this point financially. All those little (and not so little) things I HAD TO HAVE 3 years ago? If I hadn’t GOTTEN THEM it would just make a huge difference now that we have 3 kids. I just feel stupid for not being responsible sooner. Luckily, our company is established. We’ve been in biz for 6 years and we aren’t going anywhere. We just have to much more careful with our money for the next few years so in the future we won’t have to worry. It’s hard to go from buying Chanel bags & sports cars to trying to stretch the groceries out just ONE MORE DAY. Some might think it’s a fall- but I’ve decided after some reflection that our goals financially are more important.

Add to that the deadline at work & I was just a mess.

I felt better after talking it over with my stepdad & my mom. They are good at helping me talk through things even if they end up being a sounding board. I am so grateful to have such wonderful people there to support me when I have a moment.

So, in order for me to get my work under control Hudson went home with Nonnie. And I missed him all day. But, by 9AM the twins were fed and sawing logs while I got to work. And I worked ALL DAY. Thanks to the twins loving to roll around on the floor and jump in the jumper and play in their play gym- and my sister-in-law Krust for coming to feed them lunch- I got a shitton done today. In fact my first break was after 8PM. I made us dinner (enchiladas!) and then after I ate I went back to work. Around 11 I WAS DONE!!!!! I got caught up on what I needed to & I am ready for tomorrow. But, since I was feeling crazy I cleaned the house (all except my bedroom!) and now I am relaxing in bed watching tv.

Today? I felt so very accomplished. But tomorrow?! I cannot WAIT to go get Hudson. I miss him. I miss him so much.