I think you know the rest of the story, but in case you don’t:
… We fell in love.
… Dated 8 years.
… Moved in together the day I turned 18. Literally.
… Got married.
… Had 3 kids. So far.

This man. This man is my everything. Meeting him changed everything. Being with him has made me complete. This man has been my “boyfriend” for 13 years today. Sure, we’ve been married for just under 5 years, but he is STILL every bit of the butterflies-in-my-tummy boyfriend he was 13 years ago when he asked me to “be his girlfriend.”

Scott, I don’t have much to say that you don’t already know. You’re my hero, my best friend. My love & admiration for you is beyond words. I love you. Forever.

(photo circa early 1998)

And guess what?! 2010 is no different. Except it is. Because I have grown as a person & a mother & a wife & and… andd…

There is just MORE. The capacity in my heart is MORE.

Yes, I am grateful for my husband, my children, my family & my friends. For our continued health & happiness.

But the love I have for these people? It’s just off the charts.

I really feel like I understand what true happiness is. We have so many challenges in life. So many bad days & hardships. So many days when we just want to get through & survive. But at the end of the day I can snuggle up with my husband after our children are tucked safely in their beds & know that it was all worth it. I can look at my life, and be proud. And I don’t mean proud for what I have- I mean proud for what I am. What I stand for. How I treat people. The mark that I am hopefully leaving on the world through my interactions with others. I am so thankful for the laughter that fills my life & for the people who support me through everything life throws at me.

Thank you to my parents & friends who have recently let me confide in them all that has been going on in my head. For listening & not judging. For making me feel like no matter what, we are loved.

And I am grateful. I am grateful for each day I am given to live & laugh & love fiercely.

Every. Single. Day.

Forever.

& now?

Hudson points & exclaims “FISH!”

Times have changed.
Serious.
A LOT of change.
My oldest?
Is almost 2 years old.

Then, I did what any sensible wife would do.

I BEGGED my half asleep husband to stay home & spend the day with his family. And he said yes. He called his customers & rescheduled for today. And for that? I could not be more grateful.

We went to coffee. Ran errands. Took our kids to the park.

It was awesome.

Thank you for a wonderful day. Everyday. <3

So here is the round up on all my kiddos for ya.

My sweet Truman,
I have been right about your little personality. You are just a little ball of sunshine. It’s all smiles and giggles and laughs with you. You are so good natured & I cannot wait to see what you do next! By next month things will start developing so rapidly that I will soon forget the little 5 pound baby you once were. You will be a little man like your brother. I kinda can’t wait. Right now? You are very vocal. Coos and laughs abound. You grab at toys. You love “standing”. You roll over from your back to your tummy. You still suck that thumb of yours. Basically? You’re too cute for words, man.

Sawyer Jolene,
My darling baby girl! You are finally coming into your own little personality. For the last several months you were slower than your brother with the emotional stuff like Smiling, cooing and laughing. Now?? You love to smile and chat with us- but you still definitely make us work for it. You have the biggest brightest blue eyes. I think they will stay. Tru’s might turn brown like Hudson’s, but you my darling will have the dark hair & blue eyes I always dreamed of having myself. The genetic lottery has been won! You are an expert roller-over-er and cannot STAND to lay on your back. It is all stomach: all the time with you. You also LOVE doing “push-ups” and are pretty much almost sitting. You are the physical one while Truman is the emotional one. So funny how I pictured you too the opposites just based on gender.

Hud.
Today you said ‘peepee’ and pointed to your penis. And when you heard the UPS truck you ran to the window- opened the shutters- peered through and screamed “DADDY! DADDY!” Because the UPS truck sounds so similar to Daddy’s diesel van. I told you he wasn’t home yet and you pouted. You got his shoes and sat by the door. When I told you to come play with Mommy until Daddy got home? You stayed put and said “no. no.no.nooooo. no.” First time you’ve ever said no. Apparently, you were indignant that your father wasn’t home yet. Today actually physically brought me to tears on more than one occasion because I was SO. PROUD. The shape sorter? Piece of cake. You are shoving stars through the correct hole like it ain’t no thang. I showed you once how to open the back of the sorter to retrieve the pieces & you never asked me to open it again. Then? You stacked your blocks eight high. And while I counted each block you said “twooooo. sixxxxxx. threeeee.” I mean it was only after I said the words first- but holy crap, man. You are just GROWING UP. And watching what a sweet brother you are becoming melts my heart. Tonight I watched you share your teether with Truman & then sit down next to him and put your hand around his shoulder. You give the “bayyyy-beee”s kisses. You hug them. You stacked blocks on the tray of the swing so Truman could watch. I am in AWE of you, kid. Officially, this second year of parenting is the most wonderful. You can do so much for yourself. You are learning so much everyday. You are becoming a little person. But you still need mommy. You still give kisses and hugs and cuddles. You still want your Mommy when you are sad. It’s the best of both worlds.

To my three beautiful, amazing, wonderful children:
I love you all more than I can explain. I am so freaking proud to be your mother. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for our family. I cannot wait to one day add ANOTHER one of you little rascals to the mix. You guys are my whole heart. The sole reason for my entire life.
I love you.

-Mommy
By the way? Truman & Sawyer are 18 weeks old tomorrow. I had to consult a calendar. Sad, I know.

No not nude- but sans any make-up barrier. I thought I’d join in- but let’s be real- I think you’ve seen me without make-up more than you’ve seen me with it. It’s how I roll. I dunno why but 9 times out of ten- even it’s just mascara- make-up makes me feel WORSE about myself. Is that strange? Without further ado: Meet Emily. Mama to Hudson, Truman & Sawyer- with no make-up! (and an adorable Hudson, also without make-up)

Look at this awesomeness guys!

The best news is that Becca is offering one of my lucky readers a chance to have one of their very own.

To Enter:
Leave a Comment telling us which silhouette design you like best.

& because you are awesome- you should go check out Becca’s blog & follow her on Facebook &Twitter. And I know you already do- but you can follow me on Twitter too! @emmie_bee

Winner will be chosen by Random.org on Saturday, May 23rd.

I met a girl through twitter. Her twitter name is @mmarzipan & her website is HERE.

She is doing something very important- and that is spreading the importance of LOVING YOURSELF & YOUR BODY.

I’m not anywhere NEAR close to perfect. I am large. (but, possibly in charge?) I have awful stretch marks from a twin pregnancy directly after a singleton pregnancy. I quite literally have a stomach that could now be described as “a bowl full of jelly”. I’ve never been THERE before. I’ve been big, small, and everywhere in between. But honestly- I’ve never stopped loving myself & being pretty comfortable in my own skin.

And being comfortable in your own skin is SO IMPORTANT. Whatever you look like: Small, big, tall, short. Every. Single. Person. is unique & beautiful. Some, more obviously & mainstreamly than others. But you know what? Let that not take away from the fact that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

I find this plight to be especially important now that I have a daughter. I have ALREADY found myself feeding into horrible self image for my daughter. I have worried about RIDICULOUS things. Is she too hairy? Why does she have those little white bumps on her nose? Is it weird she’s bigger than her brother & not the cute little frail one? Why are her feet so big? What if her stork bites don’t fade?

I mean SERIOUSLY. I have thought those things. I HAVE SAID THEM ALOUD. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. This, makes me an asshole. But, it also makes me want to work on what is obviously a problem.

Women don’t love themselves enough. I’m not 100% comfortable all the time- but if you know me personally you know I have more self esteem then probably any girl I’ve ever met. And even with all this confidence- I am ALREADY tearing down my poor helpless 7 week old daughter. Why!?! I’m kinda thinking it has to do with the fact that I am 50% of my children’s genetic make-up & it’s hard to see YOUR biggest hang-ups- body size, skin problems, straight up unibrow on your helpless daughter & not feel responsible. But, of course those aren’t her hang-ups. They are YOURS. Well, MINE.

Mara’s website has really helped me to think about how I want to help my children see the world & themselves. I have been really honest about my feelings here- and I don’t want anyone to hate me for it. But, the reason I am saying this all aloud to the internets is because it’s stopping here. My children are PERFECT. All children are PERFECT. I’M PERFECT. Because we are all perfectly OURSELVES. No one is like us & that makes us all so beautiful & wonderful & special.

Please visit Mara’s site & steal one of her “Body Image Warrior” badges for your blog. It is important that even if your self love is a work in progress that you at least put a reminder in your daily life & in the life of your readers that we are all amazing.

<3