Things that also suck:

-Taking three toddlers to the doctor in a stroller for 2 while the 3rd chid refuses to walk and screams “CARRY YOU!” at the top of his lungs while you drag him through Kaiser. (But how cute is “carry you” when he means “carry me”) I don’t sweat. But I was SWEATING.

-The doctor telling Hudson that his normal doctor was his buddy & Hudson saying “I don’t want any buddies!” (OK, I lied again. That was hilarious!)

-Having to help a doctor hold down your kid just so he can look in his ears. Kid screams, thrashes, cries and yells stop it. Then, once released sits up all dignified and says “Thank you doctor!”

Things that are awesome:

-Having your kid remember details from the day. Hudson told me last night “doctor looked in my ears.” and “I looked in doctors ears” (both true) “The doctor has buddy” and “doctor has donald duck voice” (also both true)

From the last few days:

Hudson. While at the dinner table: “Daddy. Watch you play vibeo games. Watch you play Zurg. Let’s go!!”

Hudson. Today while trying to fall asleep: “Hair in my moufff mama! Hair in my MOUFFFF!” He apparently had a hair in his mouth but it blows my mind that he connected what it was by just feeling it. It seems so amazing that he would realize what what going on. He is 2 years 3 months & 5 days old.

Reminder:

To write down what the kids play with & how. Spent a half hour this morning watching Sawyer walk around with that same little pony & Truman stick their new easter light spinny thing into a cup & then turning it on. What goes on in their heads as they play with these things? What sparks the pairs of toys they use?

The other night Hudson served my friends & I legos on saucers from Sawyer’s tea set. When he realized we only had 4 saucers and there were 5 girls to hand out “food too” he grabbed his face with both hands and screamed “OH NO! no more plates!” ( or something like that.) Then he decided to serve the last lego in a cup. Genius.

Sawyer busted open her lip this morning. I expect this kind of crap on Mondays- but why is it ALWAYS my little girl who is bumped or bruised? Poor child!

I started this week out strong with pictures but took NONE on Thursday, Friday or today. By Wednesday evening things in this house were basically in upheaval and Thursday was a nightmarish extension of Wednesday evening. (Think car got fixed & returned Wednesday only to have it break down and have to be towed away after I drove it 5 miles.) And after those two days I basically wanted to hide under a rock. Which we did. Since the weather the last few days has been shitty & I have NO CAR. Like, we are housebound. Because the only other car we have is my husband’s two-seater cargo van. Luckily, I have had a lot of wonderful friends come keep me company & sister-in-laws that drove 25 minutes from their house to take me to Whole Foods this afternoon to shop for the week. Also, what does your family spend on groceries every week and how many people are eating? I feel like our grocery bill is INSANE and is only gonna get worse as the kids eat more.

This week was spent playing & having fun- but this week was also filled with semi-sicknesses for all the kids & tantrums that were INSANE. I feel like the terrible twos are NO JOKE and the terrible 13 months are no picnic either. I spent lots of time breaking up fights over toys. Scolding Hudson for WWF-ing his siblings. Trying to contain the kids in the living room so I can keep an eye on them. Not sleeping well because Hudson hasn’t slept in his room but once this week and he hogs the bed. He also learned to open the front door and let the dogs out. Kissing boos and bumps & cuddling overtired screaming children who don’t want to give into sleep. Watching Ratatouille more times than there are days in the week. This week was trying. I was pushed hard this week. I won’t lie. I may have cried. Or sobbed uncontrollably, whatever. But, tomorrow is Easter. And though I am atheist (so this day has no religious ties for me)- there will be mimosas. And family. And my cute little ones in adorable outfits. Easter egg hunts & memories. Hopefully ZJ day will fix this week I’ve had & fix it good. Because I need some calm. I need some stress free cartwheeling in the grass fun. Or maybe just a handful of mimosas.

I updated my Christmas 2011 Wish list today to get rid of stuff I got & add some new stuff.

Also? My birthday isn’t for another two months.

So- I’ll probably edit this a few times.

Birthday 2011 by Emmiebee

Yeah, pedophile manual.

But I have an opinion! And since it hasn’t been said yet in 47 other blog posts- here it is.

Leave amazon alone.

Yup.

THAT is my opinion.

You can buy a book on how to make bombs. You can buy books that outline how to make meth. You can buy a book written by Lauren Conrad. Scary things are afoot. But when you take away someone’s RIGHT to say something, you do a disservice to everyone.

Sure, pedophiles are disgusting. The idea is disgusting that someone would write, then sell & presumably make MONEY off a book of that nature. But the author? He has the right to say it. And while a company has the right to not carry a book on the subject of pedophilia, the fact that they do carry it doesn’t make me want to boycott or storm their twitter or call them & generally carry on like this e-book is the end of the fucking world.

You can buy The Anarchists Cookbook & learn to make homemade bombs.

You can buy Mein Kampf.

It could be argued that THOSE books would be something to boycott over. But you weren’t boycotting. So why start now? Just don’t buy the book & thank god that you live in a country where if you WANTED to write a book about pedophilia- you could.

My other sister-in-law, Krust, BFF Lisa & a few other friends were actual guests of said wedding. They drunk dialed us & insisted we come hang out. So we did- but I didn’t have my ID because Krust has my wallet at her house. (I forgot it in her purse at the movies last night) I tried to get in the bar without an ID & they basically laughed.

I had to use Lisa’s ID since she wasn’t feeling well & went home. It totally worked, but it feels so hilarious to have to use a fake ID to get into a bar. I wanted to say to the bouncer “Look, BUDDY. I am at least 5 years older than you. I have three kids. I don’t even really want to be here & you have the balls to turn me away even though I am CLEARLY 21 & I’m willing to pay your ridiculous $10 cover AT A HOTEL BAR!”

Needless to say, Sarah & I stayed for one drink.

Plus I have never seen anyone take raw red onion by itself to the face like it was candy let alone a 20 month old!!

I have been overwhelmed the last month or so. Not with the kids, but with the lack of time I am afforded to get anything else- like work or house stuff done. We’ve also been a bit slower this month at work, which is par for the August course but with three babies I feel it much more than I did in the past. I find myself questioning how I have lived my life to this point financially. All those little (and not so little) things I HAD TO HAVE 3 years ago? If I hadn’t GOTTEN THEM it would just make a huge difference now that we have 3 kids. I just feel stupid for not being responsible sooner. Luckily, our company is established. We’ve been in biz for 6 years and we aren’t going anywhere. We just have to much more careful with our money for the next few years so in the future we won’t have to worry. It’s hard to go from buying Chanel bags & sports cars to trying to stretch the groceries out just ONE MORE DAY. Some might think it’s a fall- but I’ve decided after some reflection that our goals financially are more important.

Add to that the deadline at work & I was just a mess.

I felt better after talking it over with my stepdad & my mom. They are good at helping me talk through things even if they end up being a sounding board. I am so grateful to have such wonderful people there to support me when I have a moment.

So, in order for me to get my work under control Hudson went home with Nonnie. And I missed him all day. But, by 9AM the twins were fed and sawing logs while I got to work. And I worked ALL DAY. Thanks to the twins loving to roll around on the floor and jump in the jumper and play in their play gym- and my sister-in-law Krust for coming to feed them lunch- I got a shitton done today. In fact my first break was after 8PM. I made us dinner (enchiladas!) and then after I ate I went back to work. Around 11 I WAS DONE!!!!! I got caught up on what I needed to & I am ready for tomorrow. But, since I was feeling crazy I cleaned the house (all except my bedroom!) and now I am relaxing in bed watching tv.

Today? I felt so very accomplished. But tomorrow?! I cannot WAIT to go get Hudson. I miss him. I miss him so much.

Saturday, as my husband drove me to the Millbrae BART station it was DRIZZLING. Hello, August? Yeah- WHERE ARE YOU!?! I mean this is CA people. Granted, we are in the Bay Area not LA but seriously. SERIOUSLY. One more foggy day & I swore I was gonna lose it.

Can I tell you, though? About 10 minutes into the hot, hot heat of today- I was cursing it. I hate the effing heat. You see that? I just made a COMPLETE 180. I HATE THE HEAT! & I am now sweating in bed at 11:30 PM completely confounded by the fact that yesterday? I was BEGGING for this 100 degree day. I must have been high. Maybe just metaphorically, but High non the less. Because WHO WANTS TO HAVE A HEADACHE FROM IT BEING SO DAMN HOT?! Oh, right. Not me.

I had a crazy full weekend & I have a bunch to post- but I am tired. TIRED. And I need to try to sleep.
Updates on my busy weekend full of no sleep, first BART trips solo, Bloggy Boot Camp & Tattoos to come.

Then, when I had the twins breastfeeding was OK for a while but then I got SOOOO anxious because after Sawyer would take a million years to feed I knew Truman was waiting to eat as well. I was, unfortunately, too LAZY to do it. Despite the fact that I had obstacles like a 13 month old running around and it took away from his Mommy time in a LARGE way seeing as 1 hour plus of every 2 hours was spent feeding babies. But at least a part of me was lazy. And that blows because at 5 months they would be feeding less frequently on most days and we are now on a schedule where only two of the twins feedings take place while Hudson is actually awake. So now? I PINE for breastfeeding. I miss it ridiculous amounts and I feel like I have betrayed my children & myself by not sticking with it. Laziness, I blame you.

Last night, I went on a hike with my friend Mario & I LOVED IT. Trail hiking is so much fun! I like it much more than walking on the bay trail. But it was HARD. I made myself go. And I complained WAYYYY to much while walking. But I had so much fun. And I need to make myself do that kind of thing more. Because I love it once I’m there. Same with losing the 40 pounds I need to get SERIOUS about losing. After the twins I dropped a considerable amount of weight but that number has slowly crept back up. I gained 50 pounds with the twins and when I got pregnant I still had about 10 left on me from Hudson’s pregnancy. So, basically I have only lost 20 pounds of my twin baby weight. 40 pounds need to be lost just to be where I was before I got pregnant with Hudson. And even then I was heavier than I’d like to be. It’s sick. But, again: laziness. Instead of preparing a healthy meal for breakfast or lunch I go with easy- toast with butter or crackers or basically anything I can get someone to bring me on their lunch break. I swear I’m gonna take this more seriously- because I have to! But laziness is such a hurdle for me. I’m not the type of person who gets stir crazy sitting in the house either. I don’t mind never leaving the house. Scary, I know. But I’d say that’s an advantage in my line of work. I love the isolation 90% of the time. Not getting dressed? I’d love to! Thanks!
Tonight my buddy Kristi got her son (who is 3 months younger than Hudson) to pee on the toilet by using advice from another friend Emily who’s daughter is also 3 months younger than Hudson. I was jealous. Because I have been “trying” to potty train Hudson for like 3 months. But then I stopped to think about it. And really? I haven’t done SHIT to potty train. The little Hudson knows is pretty much self-taught. He usually goes into the bathroom on his own several times a day and sits on the toilet fully clothed and makes a “shhhhhh” water sound and then ‘flushes’ the potty. Yeah, I mean, I taught him that. But, I still have yet to see anything besides his foot in that little container for pee & poo. Hudson shows so much readiness & I am being LAZY. He brings me diapers when he has gone in his diaper. Literally, he has done this several times. Today I told him it was time to change a diaper and (being lazy) asked him to get me one & he did. He knows what his peepee is. He watches us use the bathroom. I am just not diligent in taking him to go EVERY 45 minutes. I need to be. I swear he’d have it in no time if I could conquer my own laziness. We’d both be happier.
I need to find ways to combat my sloth. I need to make myself get out to the park with the kids even if actually getting down the flight of stairs with the 3 kids takes me an hour. Even if I have to push a stroller a mile with a 25 pound toddler strapped to my back. I have to force the laziness out of my house and slam the door. Because I have 3 children who look to ME (Lazina McLazerson, Queen of Lazytown) to teach them what is acceptable. And being a fat lump on a log sitting in front of the TV? NOT OK. I need you internet types to hold me to this, because my real life friends might be too nice to say “Hey you- get off your ass & DO SOMETHING!” especially when I usually have a very convincing argument against doing anything that requires getting dressed. As long as no one wants me to do stuff at night. Because by the time 5 PM rolls around- I’m usually too tired from sitting on the couch taking care of my 3 children all day that I really do just need to veg out.

Make me do this. Seriously. I want borderline rude tweets, comments & emails daily from anyone who cares about me that say things to the effect of “If you are sitting on the couch so help me god- I’m coming over there to hit you!” or “Hey- let’s go to the park. You have no choice.” or even- “let’s go walk around Target for 4 hours.” That last one I will definitely agree to.