Yes, I know. He is 2 years. 4 months. 19 days. 12 hrs & 25 minutes. But who’s counting?! Tonight: Hudson got his very first legit haircut.

I cut off on two separate occasions in the last two years ONE LOCK of hair. Not a hair cut or trim- just a wayward lock that was growing out of control.

TONIGHT: it was an all over haircut. Inches fell to the floor & Scott (who was totally against this haircut), me (who initiated this haircut but was scared shitless) and Hudson (who was stoked to get his haircut because he had no idea what a haircut was and I told him they’d give him a lollipop) made it out with ZERO tears.

He didn’t cry. But, he did calmly demand the lollipop BEFORE the haircut. Which, worked out to everyone’s advantage.

My BIG boy!
I can’t stand how grown-up he looks. Man, I hope those curls keep coming. I’ll just die if his hair goes straight after this!

So the kids are at an age that is both awesome & trying. I am laughing a million times a day and love watching these little hellions work things out between themselves. Just this morning Sawyer said her very first non-person/pet word. “MINE!” as she fought with Hudson over a Teddy bear that neither one of them have ever played with once and suddenly both loved at 10AM this morning.

Today also held a few other gems. Little moments that tomorrow I will forget because they are so small in the scheme of things.

Like Me sitting on the couch this morning and realizing all three were in the hallway- pretty quiet. Then Hudson came in to the living room and grabbed a box of kleenex. Then went back. Then came back and said “Coco has stinky poopoo!” I of course thought the worst. I ran to the hallway and discovered Sawyer holding all 3 juice cups. Truman holding the Kleenex and Hudson attempting to pick up the dog’s accident with a piece of Kleenex. They were all huddled over the little rug that Coco always has accidents on (totally not accidents- she’ll do it 10 minutes after a 30 minute walk.) and they were working it out as a team. A hilarious needs-to-wash-their-hands-immediately team. So damn cute.

With 3 sick kids & a sick mama, I am feeling so run down. Hoping we kick this AND SOON. In the meantime we are drinking lots of juice and water and eating the heck out of some watermelon. Yum.

Sawyer Jolene. 15 months exactly. (when the EFF did that happen!?!)

And if I knew a word that started with a ‘W’ that meant kinda shitty- I add that too.

This week as been interesting.

Tuesday I discovered Hudson had pink eye. I also looked at the world’s most amazing rental home ever. But of course in the ad it didn’t say no pets. So they invited us to look and then smashed our dreams by telling us pets weren’t welcome! Now, all rentals will be compared to that one. I’m almost mad we looked. Wednesday I heard Hudson cough once & Truman cough once. I thought to myself “Oh, that sounds kinda bad!” Truman has added to his word bank this week. He now uses Mama, Daddy, Coco, Kitty, Blanket, Baba with skill. The twins haven’t had a bottle in a week. Truman calls all liquids for drinking “baba” and also- he doesn’t call our cat “kitty” he calls the lucky cats scattered throughout the house “kitty”. And of course this morning all three woke up with full blown fevers. Lovely. I spent Monday afternoon with my friends playing outside with the kids & eating guacamole. Tuesday I spent with my SIL and my husband’s aunt. Wednesday afternoon I hung out with my mom & then after the kids went to bed hung out with Lisa. Tonight I got to spend time with both my SILs and my FIL. So You Think You Can Dance is in full swing & I couldn’t be happier.

Add to that I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow AM because I have been having what seems to be stress induced heart palpitations. No joke. So, off to Kaiser I go to find out if I am as awesome at self-diagnosis as I think I am.

Today was especially weird. The kids were sick & Sawyer spent much of the day attached to me or sobbing in a ball on the floor. Truman spent (no joke) at least 45 minutes on the kitchen floor staring off into space. I watched In Session & the recap on HLN of the Casey Anthony trial. Tru & Sawyer didn’t nap. It had all the makings of a really bad day- but it just wasn’t. Hudson was 90% AMAZING today. Besides totally rejecting the quesadillas I made for lunch & feeding them to the dogs while I screamed “OK OK JUST PUT THEM ON THE PLATE! JUST. DON’T. FEED. THE. DOGS!” (Also: Mario I’d like to point out that even Hudson knows what’s up re: quesadillas.) But besides that?

He was SO sweet to his siblings. Maybe because he could sense that they were feeling under the weather, but not only did he hand out hugs & kisses to Truman & Sawyer like candy- he added in several “I love you, Tutu”s and “I love you, Soysoy”s. Unprovoked. Homeboy even voluntarily handed over his blanket to Truman on several occasions when Tru got upset. “Here Tutu. Tutu here Hudson blanket.” My heart, though palpitating- was also swollen with pride. Because it is just so damn sweet to see your sweet children being sweet- to each other.

There was couch cuddling. There were popsicles. There was a feverish Truman who knew Scott was home because he heard his car from down the street and started calling out “daddy! daddy!” with his eyes closed all dramatic and awesome. There was Hudson sleeping in his bed every night so far this week. There was him coming downstairs within 2.5 seconds of being put to bed for the second night in a row only to pass out less than 10 minutes later in my arms. Then tonight he woke up crying & was apparently standing in the middle of his room crying & asleep. Scott said it was very zombie like. Glad I didn’t have to be the one to check on him tonight!

Also wacky today:

I saw a lady running down El Camino Real. She was about 55. She was in business wear. like nylons. but also running shoes. and she was running. using TWO walking sticks. So it looked like she was skiing.

Then at the drive-up ATM I was behind a person ON A BICYCLE.

I was also in a very-scary almost accident in which I almost sideswiped a car in my haste to not get trapped on the traintracks. Luckily the person I almost hit was on their game. Thanks for saving BOTH our asses, stranger!

Pretty sure I lost 2 pounds. TODAY.

This week has been amazing. Even with a few hiccups- it has been wonderful. I am so happy in so many ways & I feel so grateful for the amazing life I have! Even with the whole house thing hanging over us (BTW: House NOT on the market yet- we have to wait for some shit from the bank that could take up to 8 weeks.) I am feeling better. Better to not be carrying this burden so privately. Better because I’ve been sleeping well-finally. Better for the support we have been shown. I am so hopeful. Thankful. Grateful. Happy.

 

Purple potatoes. With Red Bell Pepper. Dinner is served.

Tuesday was my BFF Lisa’s 29th birthday. I made her birthday cake truffles and they were HELLA good. Happy Birthday, my dear friend!

Friday night Hudson & I went on a date to Toys R’ Us to ride on the 50 cent Elmo ride. It’s like a little car that you get in and Elmo sits next to you & you steer while it moves. He rode it 4 times & then we looked at Legos- which were buy one get one 50%. And all you parents probably know that Legos are expensive. And my kids? Play with Legos like 8 hours a day. That’s probably not even an overstatement. These kids LOVE Legos. Then we went to Cold Stone & then to his friend Elliot’s house to play. It was a great little date with my biggest boy! Too bad I failed at pics of that one!

Saturday we drove out to Vacaville (about 80 miles away) to go to a linner (thats lunch/dinner- like brunch but different meals) for my grandmother’s 70th birthday. It was a surprise & it’s safe to say she was surprised! Our giant family & her very best friends gathered in a room & ate food & celebrated my Grandma & her awesomeness. Happy Birthday, Grandma Sue! We love you! Anyhow, we spent about 5 hours in the car round trip & this equated to lots of picture taking!

Scott looks like a cop here. So official. All business!

It rained 90% of our drive. No fun! I am SO SCARED of driving in the rain. Especially on 80! The Traffic is INSANE.

PT love…sorta.

A rainbow right before our exit when we headed home. I mean seriously- what’s WITH this weather?

Scary photo of me but it’s rare to catch this guy in a full on smile. Had to share!

Hudson & Mommy!

Sawyer & Mommy!

Saturday night me & the girls (& Brett & Mario) went to go see The Hangover 2. We got there SO early in order to get seats. Thank god too because people ended up sitting on the floor in the aisles because there were NO SEATS. So crazy. Also? It wasn’t funny. Like, I laughed at times but more like a “ha!” every once in a while compared to the literal tears and belly laughs that Bridesmaids gave me! Anyhow- we were there really early & Stephanie sat behind me and she braided my ponytail while we waited. Its so crazy long that the end didn’t even make it into the picture!

 

 

Happy Birthday, My dearest Softpack. I love you more than I can even express. Heterosexual Life Partners FOREVER!

<3

 

 

 

 

 

 

A little later than usual, but it bloomed in May as always. Such a wonderful reminder of person we dearly miss. <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

I left Scott to watch the kids & came home to a clean house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cutest little Tooty EVER.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a regular racetrack around here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ET & Mommy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The kiddos are so cute together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The face. It kills me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This dress she’s wearing is ADORABLE. Thanks Nonnie!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soy-Soy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doesn’t he look so OLD here?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And just when I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more grown-up I took THIS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hudson rocking fake-hipster glasses so he can be like Auntie. To clarify- Auntie wears REAL non-hipster glasses.

I’ll save the commentary for AFTER you watch this little clip:

Scott took this at the park today. I was there too- but I was playing on the slide with Hudson. I can’t believe he was totally unfazed by this because I almost had a heart attack WATCHING. Homeboy is like “Whatever!” Truman- you are one tough little dude.

I finally got to participate in the Bay to Breakers. It’s a now 100 year old 12k foot race in San Francisco. It begins at the Bay and you make your way across the city & end at the Ocean. It was last weekend but I am blog-lazy & am just getting around to posting pictures now! It was really fun & definitely entertaining. Lots of awesome costumes, drunks & more penises than I’ve ever seen in my life. I went with my mom, aunts & cousin. Can’t wait to do it again next year! But next year I vote costumes & alcohol.

It’s impossible not to feel just a bit crazy lately. I am experiencing emotions I’m pretty unfamiliar with and though it probably feels dramatic to people who have real problems to face- this is a real huge event for us. Tuesday, our house will have a for sale sign out front. And not because we want it there. Because we are sick of fighting to stay afloat. Because we are defeated. Because we have exhausted all other options and because the bank doesn’t really give a shit no matter how many form emails and preprinted letter they send and because the Obama plan is bullshit. Because we have been waiting for help, for an answer or solution since Hudson was born. That’s right. TWO YEARS. And I still get different answers every time I call. We’re just done. We are done with our $5000 payments, our unbelievably shitty HOA, not knowing what bills will get paid because mortgage comes first.

We bought this house with so much hope and in a way it feels like a death. We put our hard earned money into this place. We were happy. But we also thought our stellar way-more-than-you-think-it-should-cost investment would yield $100k in a year or two like was the norm at the time and we’d be in our forever home in a few short years. But here we are, still in one bedroom with 3 children and not only have we not made $100k- we’ve LOST $200k. And it’s sick. Just horrible. It makes me want to vomit.

I’ve been slowly telling the people who need to know whats been going on. There is so much embarrassment involved and it has been so hard to look people who believed in you in the face and tell them you failed. But luckily, it’s getting easier with each announcement. It’s getting easier to look forward. It’s easier to look at our budget and see at least a little room for a savings.

We’re losing so much & sometimes it is so hard not to think that we must have really had karma coming for us- but I know that we just made a series of bad decisions coupled with a series of situations out of our control. And we’ve arrived here. And we’re good people. And we’ll get through it. But it’s so very hard.